Someone I know is in a very irate mood today. Essentially, rumors are being spread about her and another guy I know which are blatantly false and is really affecting her. I wrote her this email today and I wrote it from somewhere deep inside me because right now I have to hear everything I wrote to her for myself. Anger is not a good thing. It controls and holds prisoner anything within lashing distance. Right now, I have some damage control to do myself. This is me.

I’m sitting here at my desk smelling lunch, getting hungry and basically thinking about what you were talking about. I have some comments that are pretty tough so feel free to not read any farther. I write because I care about you and want to see this stuff taken care of – forgive me…

Let me tell you a story about a guy who grew up in a poor family. He didn’t have much. The clothes he wore were hand-me-downs. He attended a private school that his dad worked long hard hours to be able to afford to put him through. He didn’t have many friends and stuck to himself. He was your basic social outcast and he hated life. He had this crush on this girl who was very down to earth and could be your best friend, but he was always scared of what she would think of him if he told her and also was scared of what other people might say about him if they knew that this young reject liked this girl.

So he kept his mouth shut and she left to go to Florida for her senior year. He never spoke with her again.

As he grew older, he realized that it didn’t matter what other people thought about him as long as he was okay with himself. He began to socialize with people. He heard the talking, but it was the way he was and he didn’t care what other people said about him.

Today you know this guy because this guy was me.

Now I know this situation isn’t exactly what you’re dealing with but some of the principles are the same. You may want to kick someone’s ass for something they have said about you personally. But it’s like this. Who the hell gives a flying rats butt what anyone else thinks about you and [this other guy]. You know where your relationship stands. He knows where your relationship stands. That’s all that matters. If you don’t let it bother you, then it won’t bother you. But if you allow those things to start working on you on the inside and start developing scenarios in your mind, then the only result that will come is anger.

Take it from someone who is dealing with anger issues right now as we speak. I might as well be in anger management classes with Adam Sandler. Little things that you allow to bother you are no big thing in themselves. But combined, they become huge life controlling problems. It becomes something that controls how you interact with people. If you aren’t angry, you shutdown because you know you can’t be angry. Trust me. I’m here right now. You don’t know everything about me, but this is an issue in my life. And it happened over a long period of time without my being aware of it.

When you told me this morning about your evil side, I laughed because it’s funny. But it’s serious too and my Red Alert flag went up in my mind when you said that. It’s easier in the long run to forgive and rebuild relationships than it is to harbor anger and frustration, which is easier in the short run.

I only write this because I care about you. You’re my friend and I don’t want to see you become an evil ogre (you can call me Shrek) like me. I am sorry if I overstepped my bounds.

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